Suite Life-London Tipton

Zack: I've got to get up to that camp!
London: Oh! I can drive you!
Maddie: What?!
London: I'll show Moseby how well I can do without him! C'mon!
Maddie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA there big girl! You just drove through a building!London: But there are no buildings on the highway.
Maddie: True, but there are other cars and big trucks, and the occasional cute deer! This is not a good idea.
Zack: You're not going to tell anyone are you?
Maddie: Well, only if you do it.
Zack: GRAB HER!!(London and Zack drag Maddie off by her elbows.)
London: (When Esteban walks by) You saw nothing!
Esteban: Okay, have fun!
Maddie: You can't do this! The law requires you to have a responsible adult driver with you!(Cuts to the scene in London's car)
Muriel: Road Trip! Whoo-hoo!!
Maddie: Now Muriel, are you SURE you have a valid license?
Muriel: Oh, loosen up sweetcheeks, you're BUMMING US OUT!
Zack: London, can't you go any faster than 20 miles per hour?!
London: Why?
Maddie: Because we're on an interstate and people are passing us on bicycles.
London: I just want to get there and back in one piece!
Zack: I just wanna get there and back before I'm thirty!(Police car sirens)
Muriel: Uh-oh! It's the fuzz! Everyone act natural.
Maddie: How does someone who was forced in the middle of the night to drive down a busy interstate at ten miles an hour act natural?!
Muriel: You can start by shutting your yap!

Zack: Guys, I'm worried about cody. He's not answering his cell phone!
London: Maybe he's having fun.
Zack: Hello! We're talking about MATH CAMP!

Mr. Moseby: Why not? I helped you take your first steps across this very lobby!
London: In designer booties!
Mr. Moseby: I helped you roller skate and learn to ride a bike...
London: You're in our family album more than my father, or any of his ex-wives!

Moseby: Is the key in the ignition?
London: For over an hour now.
Moseby: Well, that's because you had to do your makeup. Twice.
London: Well, excuse me for trying to beautify the highway!

London: Daddy bought me a car to practice on. My friend Porscha is going to teach me.
Mr. Moseby: Do you mean the young lady who drove her father’s yacht through piers 10, 11, and 12?
London: She was putting on sunscreen.

London: Moseby, have you heard the good news?
Mr. Moseby: Yes. One of the twins is gone for 2 weeks. It's like falling in love.

London: Maddie, guess where moi is off to?
Maddie: Hopefully French class to learn another word than "moi".
London: No. I'm going to the D.M.V. to get my learner's permit.
Maddie: You're gonna learn to drive?!
London: Oh, it's easy! I've been watching my chauffeur do it for years! But I have to pass their silly test first! Here. (Puts a packet on the counter) Quiz me candy girl.
Maddie: Okay. Oh, here's one. (Reading from the packet) "When is it acceptable to park near a red curb?"
London: Well, if I'm wearing green, never. It would clash! Oh, unless it's christmas!
Maddie: You're gonna do great! GO!

Tapeworm: I have a calculator that runs on moonlight.
London: Oh, lets find out how rich I am!

London: Your in our family album, more than my father, or any of his Ex-wives.

London: Moseby.
Mr. Moseby: Mrs. Knievel.
London: (Gasp) Was that a slam on my driving?
Mr. Moseby: Please don't use the word "Slam."
London: I'll have you know I'm going to find a real driving teacher.
Mr. Moseby: Well, may I suggest a Hollywood stuntman or a former marine? You know, someone who's used to crashing through things.London: Look, I only crashed because you made me so nervous I couldn't tell up from down.
Mr. Moseby: Well, maybe you should be driving a POGO STICK!

Mr. Moesby: I suppose I have a slight tendency to be a bit critical.
Zack: Suppose?
Maddie: Slight?
Carey: Tendency?
London: A bit?

London: You making me nervous with all this technical talk!
Mr. Moseby: Oh I'm sorry! Why dont we just relax and put on the radio! Would you like AMMMMM or FMMMMMM?

Muriel: My grandson is very sick, so I'm rushing him to the hospital. (Maddie nudges Zack; Zack pretends to be sick)
Officer: (Referring to Zack) But he seemed fine before.
London: Oh, we stopped for chili cheese dogs on the road.
Officer: Oh, no, not Dirty Dan's!
London: That's the place.
Zack: (As part of the ruse, pretending to be sick and weak) Hurry Grandma! I think I can see the light!
London: No! Stay away from the light!

Mr. Moesby: Are you familer with the gear shift?
London: You mean the prndl?
Mr. Moesby: The what?
London: The prndl.
Mr. Moesby: Are you refering to the shift lever that says P-R-N-D-L?
London: I'm not a child Moesby, I know how to spell prndl.

London: I wonder how my life would be if I found the treasure? (a fantasy ripple starts up, but is interrupted by London) Oh, yeah. It would be the same.

London: (After landing in garbage) This is all your fault!
Esteban: Oh, you're right. It couldn't have been your fault because you didn't do anything. Nada!

London: Brilliant! You keep this up, and I'll trade your key ring in for a sports car, mister.
Esteban: But then I'll need the key ring.
Maddie: You guys are going to make a great team. Too bad you're looking in the wrong place. Okay, obviously, the heart refers to the Valentine room, and below that is the lounge.
Zack: I like the way you think, sweet thang.
Cody: You like anything she says, desperate thang.
Zack: Well, I'm going with Candy Girl.
London: And I'm going with Bell Boy here.
Cody: Well, wait a minute? Who's going with me?
Zack: Nobody, Calculator Boy.

London: This looking thing isn't that hard. It's actully kind of fun.
Esteban: Oodles.

Maddie: So London, where do you think the center of the hotel is?
London: Anywhere I am.


(after learning that there is no monetary treasure)
Esteban: Now I'll never own this hotel.
Maddie: And I'll never be the President.
Cody: I'll never win the Nobel Prize.
Zack: I'll never marry Maddie. (Maddie looks at him funny)
London: On the bright side, I'm still rich. Yay me!